Tuesday, October 20, 2009

SNL's "Really!?!" with Seth and Amy

Top Ten quotes from SNL's weekend update segment called, "Really!?!" with Seth and Amy

10. (Topic: Senator Joe Wilson)

Hey Joe? Yelling out “you lie” would be rude to a valet or a waiter, so maybe don’t yell it at the President. Really.

9. (Topic: recent outbursts, in the same week, by Joe Wilson, Serena Williams and Kanye West)

Really, pick better targets. No one is impressed when you take your stands against 19-year-old girls, tiny Asian ladies or the first black president. Really? Who are you gonna go after next koalas? Baby koalas? I mean Really!?! Rude! Really!

8. (Topic: Rod Blagojevich)

Really Rod Blagojevich? Really? You’re not going to resign? You should resign. Even Illinois politicians say you should resign When Illinois politicians say you should resign, you should resign. That’s like Amy Whinehouse telling you to go to rehab. Really!?!
And it’s besides the point, but your hair? …. It looks like someone put the hair on backwards on one ot those Fisher Price people. The first time I saw you I thought you were walking a way. Really.

7. (Topic AIG Bailout)

Really AIG? Really? You went on this retreat only 6 days after receiving an 85 Billion Dollar bailout? Really? Even the mafia knows not to spend money so soon after a heist. Really. Really

6. (Topic: AIG Bailout)

And you spend $150,000 on banquets? Really? Was your waiter Prince? Did you hire robot chefs? You better have hired robot chefs, because if there were humans in the kitchen you drank urine. Yeah, you did. Really. You really did. Really!

5. (Topic: AIG Bailout)

And you defended the retreat saying it was planned before the bail out. That’s like going ahead with grandma’s birthday party even though grandma died three days ago. Really.
Also, really. The federal reserve on Wednesday agreed to provide a second 37 Billion dollar loan on top of the original 85 Billion dollar loan. Which brings us to a new segment we like to call… OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS?
Oh my God are you serious federal government? Are you really serious? Oh my God!
It’s like you gave a hundred dollars to your junkie cousin then ran in to him at the dog track and gave him another 37 Billion dollars! Oh My God ARE YOU SERIOUS?
Seriously are you serious? Really? Oh my God! HUH!

4. (Topic: Kanye West)

Really Kanye West? You interrupted someone again? Really? Really? It was interesting when you spoke out against George Bush and Hurricane Katrina, less so when you're standing up for Beyonce and The Single Ladies video.

3. (Topic Michael Phelps)

And parents, if your kids come to you and say, Michael Phelps smokes pot, why can’t I? Just say, “you can… right after you win 12 gold medals for your country…” Really.

2. (Topic: Kanye West)

And Really Kanye, it’s just a video music award, it doesn’t really matter, really. A word of advice though, if you ever see an old lady holding up a “World’s Best Grandma” mug, and you know of a better grandma, don’t slap it out of her hands. I mean, Really.

1. ( Topic: Michael Phelps)

And, this is important. If you’re at a party and you see Michael Phelps smoking a bong and your first instinct isn’t “wow, I get to party with Michael Phelps” and instead take a picture and sell it to the tabloids, you need to take a long look at yourself because you’re a DICK. Really.

Watch the video clips:

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