Reasons to stay home on New Year's Eve

10. You can't get pulled over or get a ticket. Okay, well that's not exactly true. You can get a ticket by staying home... but you can't get pulled over for drinking and driving!

9. The booze is cheaper and you can get exactly what you want by being your own bartender. Try this drink recipe that I created... You will absolutely not be sorry:

1 part vodka

2 parts Bailey's Irish Creme

1/2 part pepermint schnapps

1/2 part creme de cacao

shake in a martini shaker with ice... serve up in a martini glass. Yum!

8. Crowd Control - if someone spills a drink on you, is loud and obnoxious or is hogging the tv remote... you can ground them!

7. It's warm - get the blanket and the fuzzy slippers and get ready to party!

6. No worries about fitting into finding a great outfit to wear out.

5. USA Marathons - This year is "Burn Notice." Should be good.

4. The Sharks are on TV (vs. Phoenix) - Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Sharks!

3. After you have welcomed in the New Year your bed is just a few steps away.

2. When you wake up in the morning, you know EXACTLY where you parked your car.

1. You don't have to spend any money!!!

Christmas / Holiday Songs

Top Ten
Top Fifteen
Top Seventeen (!) Christmas Songs:

17. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas – Perry Como
16. The Twelve Days of Christmas
15. Jingle Bell Rock
14. Holly Jolly Christmas – Burl Ives
13. Jingle Bells
12. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
11. The Chanukah Song – Adam Sandler
10. Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer
9. Auld Lang Syne
8. The Most Wonderful Time of Year – Andy Williams
7. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas – Frank Sinatra
6. Let it Snow – Dean Martin
5. Little Drummer Boy
4. Silent Night – Amy Grant
3. I’ll be Home For Christmas
2. Santa Claus is Coming to Town – Bruce Springstein
1. White Christmas – Bing Crosby

Top Ten Christmas Movies

10. Elf – Will Farell has grown on me over the last few years ever since his role in “Blades of Glory.” In “Elf” he was H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S. He totally owned that role and made it his own.

9. Home Alone – Who can forget this movie? Little Kevin McAllister left home all alone while his family goes on vacation and forget to take him. Doesn’t this warm a little wish fullfilment in all of us? Of course watching it now as a mom it is a little horrifying watching them take off without him… but still he took care of himself, didn’t he?

8. Love Actually – 8 different stories all intertwined around the holidays. Brilliant! A little racy, so maybe not for the kids. But all you grown-ups should rent the dvd and enjoy!

7. Nightmare Before Christmas – Kudos to Tim Burton. Awakens the dark humor in all of us and nudges all of our Goth alter egos… well maybe not all of us!

6. A Christmas Story – This has to be on the list. If only for the fact that it is played on television networks on 24 hour loop on Christmas day.

5. A Charlie Brown Christmas – Charlie Brown searching for the true meaning of Christmas.
I always looked forward to this as a kid. It was usually one of the first specials they would air during the holiday season.

4. Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer – How can you go wrong here. Another childhood favorite. Rudolf, The Abomidable Snow Creature, Hermie the dentist/elf and the island of misfit toys. Oh, how the other reindeer were so jealous when Rudolf saved the day!

3. How The Grinch Stole Christmas – Love the Jim Carrey version, but the original cartoon was a masterpiece. Dr. Seuss was a genius. All the Whos in Whoville singing their Christmas songs… even after their Christmas was stolen by the Grinch. My heart grows each time I watch it.

2. Miracle on 34th Street – A holiday classic and staple in my house growing up. In the days before DVR or even VCR, we’d get the old TV Guide and circle the dates for when "Miracle on 34th Street" would be on. I still try and watch it every Christmas.

1. White Christmas – A holiday classic and my all time favorite! Love it. Love it. Love it!! Go watch it today… you won’t be sorry.

Monk

Top Ten Quotes from USA Network's "MONK"

#10 - "I tried doing that once, making every minute count. Gave me a headache!"

#9 - "I have no problem with change. I just don't like to be there when it happens."

#8 - "That officer outside told me I was dead. I'm not dead! Am I?"

#7 -

Monk: "I can't go to Mexico!"

Sharona: "Why not?"

Monk: "It's not here!"

#6 - “Nature! I've got Nature on my hand! Get it off!”

#5 -

Sharona Fleming: That man took a whizz in the subway. That man killed four people in cold blood. Now who do you think we should arrest?

[long pause]

Adrian Monk: [mumbling] The murderer.

#4 -

[Monk is babysitting a two-year old]

Treesa Crane: Now before I go, do you have any questions for me?

Adrian Monk: Yes, yes, I have a couple of questions. What does he eat?

Treesa Crane: He... eats food. He eats whatever you eat, only in smaller portions.

Adrian Monk: Oh. So he's like a person

#3 -

Capt. Stottlemeyer: Monk, are you absolutely sure about this? And don't give me any of that 95 percent crap!

Adrian Monk: Captain, I am 100 percent sure that she *probably* killed him.

Capt. Stottlemeyer: What does that mean?

Adrian Monk: [waits a moment] 95 percent

#2 -

[Monk jumps onto a table to avoid a snake]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: I thought you were afraid of heights.

Adrian Monk: Snakes trump heights. It goes germs, needles, milk, death, snakes, mushrooms, heights, crowds, elevators...

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Okay, okay, I don't need the entire list.

#1 -

Monk: "Maybe I should go talk to that student over there that the bullies are picking on." Sharona: "Oh, I don't know -- what would you say?"

Monk: "That things will get worse."

Dog Halloween Costumes

In no particular order... They are all very creative. Happy Halloween!

Headless Horse-Dog

Lobster (in the pot) Dog

Darth Vader Dog

Granny Dog

Fast Food Dogs

Blue Zebra Dog (aren't they extinct?)

Octo-Pug

Lady Ga Ga (Bubble costume)!

USS Enterprise Dog

Alligator (eating the) Dog

SpongeBob Square Pants - for Jacob

10. “Meow.” -Gary

9. “There it is (The Krusty Krab) the finest eating establishment ever established for eating.”--SpongeBob

8. “You mean what we thought they thought, we think and thought they thought. We think?” - Patrick

7. “Psst, Squidward, I'm working in the kitchen... at night! Hey Squidward, guess what? I'm chopping lettuce... at night! Look at me, I'm swabbing the bathroom... at night! OW I burned my hand!... at night!” -SpongeBob

6. “Is mayonnaise an instrument?"-Patrick

5. “Do u smell that? That smell, it's the smell of a smelly smell that smells smelly.” – Mr. Krabs

4. "Oh well, I guess I'm not wearing any pants today!" - SpongeBob

3. “Squidward, I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet.” - SpongeBob

2. “This isn't your average darkness ... This is advanced darkness!” – SpongeBob

1. "I anything can't do right since because pickles!" -SpongeBob

Bonus:

1. "This city needs to be destroyed!!! Or at least painted another color." Squidward

2. Gary: “Meow”.
SpongeBob: “Gary. Where's your holiday spirit?”
Gary: “Bark!”

SNL's "Really!?!" with Seth and Amy

Top Ten quotes from SNL's weekend update segment called, "Really!?!" with Seth and Amy

10. (Topic: Senator Joe Wilson)

Hey Joe? Yelling out “you lie” would be rude to a valet or a waiter, so maybe don’t yell it at the President. Really.

9. (Topic: recent outbursts, in the same week, by Joe Wilson, Serena Williams and Kanye West)

Really, pick better targets. No one is impressed when you take your stands against 19-year-old girls, tiny Asian ladies or the first black president. Really? Who are you gonna go after next koalas? Baby koalas? I mean Really!?! Rude! Really!

8. (Topic: Rod Blagojevich)

Really Rod Blagojevich? Really? You’re not going to resign? You should resign. Even Illinois politicians say you should resign When Illinois politicians say you should resign, you should resign. That’s like Amy Whinehouse telling you to go to rehab. Really!?!
And it’s besides the point, but your hair? …. It looks like someone put the hair on backwards on one ot those Fisher Price people. The first time I saw you I thought you were walking a way. Really.

7. (Topic AIG Bailout)

Really AIG? Really? You went on this retreat only 6 days after receiving an 85 Billion Dollar bailout? Really? Even the mafia knows not to spend money so soon after a heist. Really. Really


6. (Topic: AIG Bailout)

And you spend $150,000 on banquets? Really? Was your waiter Prince? Did you hire robot chefs? You better have hired robot chefs, because if there were humans in the kitchen you drank urine. Yeah, you did. Really. You really did. Really!

5. (Topic: AIG Bailout)

And you defended the retreat saying it was planned before the bail out. That’s like going ahead with grandma’s birthday party even though grandma died three days ago. Really.
Also, really. The federal reserve on Wednesday agreed to provide a second 37 Billion dollar loan on top of the original 85 Billion dollar loan. Which brings us to a new segment we like to call… OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS?
Oh my God are you serious federal government? Are you really serious? Oh my God!
It’s like you gave a hundred dollars to your junkie cousin then ran in to him at the dog track and gave him another 37 Billion dollars! Oh My God ARE YOU SERIOUS?
Seriously are you serious? Really? Oh my God! HUH!


4. (Topic: Kanye West)

Really Kanye West? You interrupted someone again? Really? Really? It was interesting when you spoke out against George Bush and Hurricane Katrina, less so when you're standing up for Beyonce and The Single Ladies video.


3. (Topic Michael Phelps)

And parents, if your kids come to you and say, Michael Phelps smokes pot, why can’t I? Just say, “you can… right after you win 12 gold medals for your country…” Really.

2. (Topic: Kanye West)

And Really Kanye, it’s just a video music award, it doesn’t really matter, really. A word of advice though, if you ever see an old lady holding up a “World’s Best Grandma” mug, and you know of a better grandma, don’t slap it out of her hands. I mean, Really.

1. ( Topic: Michael Phelps)

And, this is important. If you’re at a party and you see Michael Phelps smoking a bong and your first instinct isn’t “wow, I get to party with Michael Phelps” and instead take a picture and sell it to the tabloids, you need to take a long look at yourself because you’re a DICK. Really.

Watch the video clips:

Kanye West (VMA's, Sen. Joe Wilson, Serena Williams)

AIG Bailout

Michael Phelps